Couples and Relationship Communication Coaching

Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO)

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Couples and Relationship Work with IFIO

Intimacy from the Inside Out© is a model for working with communication that draws primarily from Internal Family Systems (IFS) theory , but also includes aspects of general systems theories and neuroscience. It is an experiential approach born out of a desire to carry the concepts of IFS into the inter-relational setting and to use the relationship itself as a vehicle for growth of the individual, as well as improving connection within the relationship.

How can this approach help us?

Challenges in relationships come when partners are not consciously aware of their vulnerabilities or needs, and communicate with each other from their protective parts by manipulating, bullying, withdrawing, etc. While their intention is to get their own needs met, protective parts often end up triggering the other person's vulnerable parts and activating a matching protective stance, This escalating 'protector to protector' pattern leads both people down a path of disconnection and pain, where needs remained unseen and unmet.

Through the process of relationship communication coaching, both partners are supported equally with the goal of recognizing the unique destructive dances that happen in their relationship, and how each person plays a part in continuing the cycle which ultimately hurts them both. We then begin to explore a different way of communicating about hard topics, in which each person is helped to separate from their defenses/offenses and truly listen to the needs of the other. From this space of understanding and empathy both partners can work together to solve their challenges while strengthening the connection between them.

Relationship communication coaching addresses many of the issues people face in relationships. These include problems with connection, tensions between attachment and avoidance, difficulties with accepting each other’s differences, conflicts over decisions, feeling misunderstood or unloved, intimacy concerns, frustration that the other person isn’t changing, disrespected boundaries, relationship ruptures, and betrayals.

NOTE: This work is not licensed psychotherapy, clinical social work, marriage and family therapy or clinical mental health counseling. I offer insight-oriented, client-centered dialogue to facilitate self-exploration and transformation. I am not a licensed psychotherapist, clinical mental health counselor, or social worker in the state of Utah, and therefore do not treat diagnosed mental illness, diagnose mental health conditions, prescribe behavior modification or medication, or bill to health insurance as a mental health care provider.

Common Questions about Couples Coaching

  • This form of couples work is often done in 3 stages, but the structure of our work together can be highly subjective.

    1. Exploratory Phase

      In this period I will meet with you both for a small number of sessions, then if relevant I will see each of you separately for one session in order to gain an understanding of how you function as a couple and what you understand your challenges to be. We will then come together again for a session to determine if my approach is suitable for you. This phase of work is very important and can give a lot of clarity to partners about their dynamic and how it continues.

    2. Intervention Phase

      Once we have clarified the dynamic which we all agree to work toward changing, we take a number of sessions to work on communication skills between you and sometimes work with one person’s system in the presence of the other. After these sessions are complete, we decide together whether further sessions would be helpful or if you have enough to continue the work on your own.

    3. Ongoing Sessions

      If it feels necessary and beneficial to continue our work once we have completed the above phases, we can make an agreement to continue for an agreed upon number of sessions based on your unique relationship challenges and goals.

  • My standard couples work rate is $160 for each 75 minute session, and $190 for a 90 minute session. Longer session times are available upon request, and limited sliding scale sessions are also available to those in need.

  • This work is most effective when we are able to meet either once weekly or at least every other week. Further space in between sessions makes it challenging to maintain momentum of the work.

  • IFIO Relationship work can help communication within any relationship dynamic. If you’re curious about whether this approach is right for your situation, please feel free to contact me.

  • My work is not licensed psychotherapy, social work, marriage and family therapy or clinical mental health counseling. I offer insight-oriented, client-centered dialogue to facilitate self-exploration and transformation. I am not a licensed therapist in the state of Utah, and therefore do not treat diagnosed mental illness, diagnose mental health conditions, prescribe behavior modification or medication, or bill to health insurance as a mental health care provider.

More Questions?