The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model is the foundation of my approach. IFS is an evidence-based model for facilitating emotional health and well-being by resolving inner conflicts and getting in touch with our core selves in order to reach our goals with a sense of calm and inner peacefulness. It is based on two fundamental concepts: that everyone has parts and everyone has a Self.

Everyone has Parts

Parts are essentially subpersonalities within our minds formed at various stages in our development. They are the voices we hear in our heads, like little people within us, that have thoughts, feelings, and opinions about our lives and how we live them. Examples may include the Critic, the Perfectionist, The Procrastinator/Avoider, The Workaholic, The User, and many more. These parts can often be opposed to one another and develop conflicts between them in attempt to get their own needs met. By exploring the unique internal community of parts and their relationships within us we can help to understand the source of many internal conflicts. One very helpful way to identify and distinguish a part from other parts is to notice where we perceive that particular attitude, feeling, or impulse in or around our bodies. Having the “felt sense” of that experience only occupying a part of our physical form helps us to separate from it. It is not ALL of who we are, just a part of us. Separating from it allows us to then turn our awareness back toward it to become curious about it, and help it to integrate into our internal system in a more harmonious way. For example, one part of you may be yelling to get an important project done, but another part may be scared that you can’t do it and would rather go do something fun and easy. Taking time with each part to understand its needs and fears can give you the space to mediate this internal conflict and find peace between them and move forward along your life’s path with ease and harmony between your parts.

Everyone has a Self

Once we’ve separated from our parts, we are more able to access a state of Self. The Self is the core of our being, the caring, compassionate state of feeling more calm and at peace, what some call the soul. When our Self-energy can lead our awareness and choices, we can turn toward our overwhelming, warring, and wounded parts with love and curiosity to help them. While parts can have strongly negative feelings toward one another like anger or fear, the Self feels nothing but interest and warmth toward all our parts, even the ones that create challenges in our lives. Transforming from being parts-led to Self-led is like going from a chorus of singers all fighting for their solo and singing out of tune to one in which they are all guided and supported by a caring conductor. By helping each part relate with the group as a whole, the conductor (Self) joins their voices into one great harmony, so that tasks and choices which have historically felt like a tug-of-war on the inside feel more like a time working toward the same goals. The experience of a life led from Self-energy is one that carries the qualities of compassion, calm, courage, clarity, connectedness, curiosity, confidence and creativity.

Resolving Inner Conflicts

All parts take on specific roles over the course of our lives, usually to protect us from feeling deeply painful emotions like sadness, shame, and loneliness. The basis for inner parts work with IFS is taking the time to get to know our parts, their histories, their hopes, their fears, and what their roles are within us. We can then learn how they relate to our other parts with the goal of resolving the conflicts among them through a process of internal mediation.

Protector Parts and the Wounds they Protect

Some parts evolve to protect us from feeling the pain of deep wounding from our past that has been too painful to consciously experience. These deep wounds can result from various forms of abuse, neglect, injury, and more. Protective parts evolve to keep those feelings buried deep within us so we don’t feel the pain from that original wounding. Some protectors are avoidant parts that distract or numb us from that pain if we’ve been triggered (distractions, rage, sex), while some are controlling parts that try to prevent us from being triggered in the first place (e.g. overworking, numbing, secluding). While they share the same goal of avoiding pain and shame, they do it in such different ways that they often argue about the right way to do it. Through the model of IFS we take time to be with all these protectors, addressing their fears and needs to so valiantly protect these wounds. This process can be very quick or very gradual, depending on the complexity of your protective system. We always approach all your parts with kindness, curiosity and respect, never rushing past any of them or rejecting their crucial roles within you. Over time, as you gain more access to your Self-energy the parts will trust your Self to be the one in control of your actions both inside and outside of you.

How IFS Sessions Go

IFS sessions often start with some dialogue around what your greatest areas of challenge are and your goals for our work together. Through this conversation we will start to identify your own personal “internal family” of parts. We will then decide on a part we’d like to start with and begin to explore it. The goal of this work is to slow down the cacaphony of arguing and competing voices inside your head: to listen to each one, to address its needs, and to find a path toward balance where all your parts are seen, heard, and acknowledged. This process is often done with your eyes closed (if that’s comfortable for you) in order to help you focus inside on your parts without visual distractions from the outside world. We generally strive to leave time to reorient for a few moments before our sessions come to an end.

IFS Transformational Coaching vs. Psychotherapy

My work is not licensed psychotherapy, clinical social work, marriage and family therapy or clinical mental health counseling. I offer insight-oriented, client-centered dialogue to facilitate self-exploration and transformation. I am not a licensed psychotherapist, clinical mental health counselor, or social worker in the state of Utah, and therefore do not treat diagnosed mental illness, diagnose mental health conditions, prescribe behavior modification or medication, or bill to health insurance as a mental health care provider.

A Note about Parts Work vs. Treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder

Parts as envisioned in the IFS Model are not the same as “alters” or distinct dissociative identities as in those with a DID diagnosis. We refer to parts in a more conceptual sense as a working model for different aspects of our personalities. If you have been diagnosed with DID or are concerned you may have this mental illness, please consult a licensed mental health care worker who specializes in this. I do not treat DID through IFS oriented transformational coaching.